Saturday, 29 July 2017

You've changed

Once you've promised to me that you wouldn't change. 
Your love for me also wouldn't change an inch even how long distance apart us.
But now, those promises hurt me the most. 

I bet, my love hasn't change but increasing from a day to another until now.
I live in our memories you left. 
My heart in pain of missing you.
And it sucks!
Every time I see the places you've been, it kills inside. Believe what I say, my heart hurt so much....

And I'm hoping that waiting for you will worth my life afterwards. 

Wednesday, 19 July 2017

Old times


Last year was very meaningful to me.. I still remember the old times of us.. 
When I met him, my heart beat very damn fast! It hits my chest and I feel like it's going to jump out of my body.. I am little bit shorter than him, I even can't see his face properly. So, when we accidentally jumped to each other, I just look at his OLD SHOES. I miss that feeling though......... ugh.. 

I remember the last day we have school ( before he starts SPM and I got a short break ) I was finding him around the school.

 I've promised to him "Ok. For the last time, I will try to smile if I see you tomorrow"

But regrettably my mission failed.. no chance izzati.. ugh..

Ok lah.. I walk downstairs with Ramisya.. I'm frust!! hmm..

But then, suddenly he pop out nowhere in front of me. And I was like '' Mak aihh!!" 
(he actually came from Surau)

Seriously, I was shocked! And all the nervousness symptom came.. I can't help it lah, I was too shy, too nervous.. Ermm, well that makes me special.. ahaks!

As I promised, I try to smile to him. Nicely gitteww.. 
But, i can't move my legs hahahahaha. Every muscle started to cramp meh..

Then,, he smiled and continue walking.. ( that's how we communicate hahahahahahahahaha. lame kan ?)

Ehh tapi, senyum senyum je pun aku dah rasa kejung satu badan kay!

I miss those moments by the way.. I miss how my heart beating fast. I miss how my face turns all red when everyone teasing me.. My friend once told me this : '' Asal kau jumpa aku je, muka masam. Tapi kalau jumpa dia, pipi bukan main merah lagi, senyum sampai telinga.. kena panggil kau Humaira lah"

Yep.. I was very happy at that time..

Compared to this year.. it's totally different and hurts me so much. I just focus on study and sometimes live in memories I guess ? 

Imagine you're here works a bit actually.. :')

Saturday, 8 July 2017

Almost finish my high school. Yay or nay ?


Hello, it's me again :)

I write quite a lot though these days.. Okay la kan, it's a part of memory.

I'm so proud to tell you that...



ehem ehem..

it's a 8th day of my lifeless-no handphone-period.

OK I should highlight the lifeless word..
like this:

it's a 8th day of my lifeless-no handphone-period

oyeahhh! I did it babe!!! No ones ever know that I've been suffering since day 1 I off my phone. I'm so so so done guys..

However.. I got enough sleep hehehe. So my life goes like this, pagi-study. break 1hour- tidur. tengah hari- tengok cerita P.Ramlee at Astro Prima. Petang-study. Malam-study-tidur.

For the first time in my life, I watch classic movie - P.Ramlee in my free time. Awwwhh shoo cute.. I watched Keluarga 69, hahahahahah bapak kawin dengan anak tiri P.Ramlee. P.Ramlee kawin dengan mak mertua bapak dia. Then, driver kawin dengan janda bapak P.Ramlee. HAHAHA SERIOUSLY I CAN'T IMAGINE HOW THEIR LIFE WOULD BE.

Then, I watched Tiga Abdul and many more..

OK Let's back to the topic.

Just now, I do a bit research about Matrikulasi. (I almost apply that thing, but they need my blood type. So, I need to check at hospital first. I'm so confident that my blood type is B because my dad's is O, my mom's is B. But.. When I checked WikiHow.. I'm in A's characteristic.. So... yeah.. check jelah)

Then, I checked the places. Somewhere in Melaka and Negeri Sembilan. And I found a few pictures that touched my heart (I'm a sentimental person kann , ehehe)

So, I was like,

''Betul ke aku dah nak habis sekolah.. hermm''

''Nanti mesti rindu sekolah, kelas, semua orang lah''

In school, everything can be done together. Means, at class you can discuss the homework. Doing presentation bodo bodo je (especially when you are so nervous and just say stupid things hahaha). Then class itself gives an aura. Where as you have a class teacher, class monitor, the students.

For me, OF COURSE I will miss my friends.. As I'm a class monitor, so I have to handle 26 students in class.. Eceyyyy takde maknanya handle, aku jerit "Oiiii, masuk kelas la!", no ones hear hahahah then I pass to Siva. Maybe they hear me sometimes because I'm a girl, not a stepmother of 5 Utarid. So, they respect me, '' Ok la kesian izzati, kita diam la jap" .. But then, dorg bising balik..

The hardest part is bila kena suruh dorg bertugas, Allah... Redha je la..

Then, when we all ask forgiveness from Puan Atiqah at serambi, because we didn't finish our essay. I can feel the love. hehehe. It's a memory anyway..

gambar takde kena mengana hahahaha

As a friend pula, I love my current friends especially Wonderpets (group name ok hahaha).

From left is Syahirah, Ramisya, Aishah ( tudung pink terlindung tu), Sofia, Hanani, Wala, and Athirah (she took the picture)
I'm so annoying this picture. Smh.... it was 2015 anyway.. hahahah

(nanti aku post lagi gambar kelas ye)

So, for upcoming years.. It's time to be independent.. No more school student life.. school bag, textbook, assembly etc.. :')

Tuesday, 4 July 2017



One fine day, I decided to turn off my phone and pass it to my sister . The conversation went like this:

"Apa pendapat angah, kalau adik off phone ?"

*main phone* "Angah setuju!!"

So sudden! I thought she wouldn't hear it because yep my voice was quite slow..

Then.. ok lah. I will sacrifice this just for SPM. Termasuk irfan :') Sorry irfan for making you waiting for me until I finish my SPM. Sabar eh..

Everything was so last minute you know.. Because, yep I feel distracted with my phone, the notifications, instagram, whatsapps and so on.. Everytime I open my book, then my phone ring. Ok that's the end of study session. I'll continue later. (sometimes..)Then, fikir la.. How to make myself committed in studying.. Then I thought, should I turn off the phone ? At first, of course I don't want! Since, that's the only medium to communicate with irfan. (ok I'm being so open these days ye tuan tuan dan puan puan, hohoho) ((ps:just chatting ye.))

Suddenly.. like a kesedaraan dah datang or like malaikat bisikkan sesuatu or like Allah dah bagi hidayah.. I thought of my parent's dream to see me as a doctor one day (in fact, she always mentioning my name with DR. like Dr. Izzati) , my sister's dream , she wants me to treat her or create a new medicine for her, do a research about her illness.. So... I feel so guilty and rasa terbeban juga..

Image result for sacrifices pinterest quote

How could you crash your parent's dream ? And see their reaction on the result day just like "Tak apa la.. Adik dah buat yang terbaik.. mungkin doktor bukan rezeki adik.. sabar ya.. umi dgn abah tak kisah adik nak jadi apa pun" This is so frustrating you know, not even worth my 17 years of life. End up seeing they cry or upset with my achievement. 

On that day, of course I'm sad. But when people around me are sad too. That's like putting the blame on my shoulders.

I still remember when my result PT3 day. I got 6As. But my target is 8 or 7 As. Then my mom was like 'acah gembira'  They smiled for me. But it's hurting though.. Then I heard my sister said this to my mom '' Kira okay la tu umi, adik dapat 6A, angah dulu pun tak dapat sebanyak tu time PMR." So, literally my mom was sad with my result..

Back to the topic..
Plus, I'm not that smart.. I can't balance many things in one time. Every thing needs focus and understanding. But I have a dream. So by hook or by crook I must get the highest I can. I can do it. Aamin.. Please pray for me :)

Image result for sacrifices pinterest quote success

To Irfan Nafiz: it might takes quite a long time - 5 months. I hope you are patient enough to wait.. hopefully, tak ada gadis nak menyotong kat kau la ya in this period. hohoho

You are my sunshine